10 Things I Wish I Could Tell My Younger Self

When my body finally quit working, (as in completely shut down), I found myself flat on my back, in the hospital with an alarm on my bed. The alarm would go off every time I attempted to stand up and it was completely necessary. I couldn’t be trusted. To. Just. STOP.

You see, my body had been trying to tell me for so long and my friends and loved ones had been attempting to get the point across for even longer. There was absolutely nothing that could get through to me to prevent the wreck that everyone saw happening, except me.

As I lay in the hospital, (after finally accepting that there was absolutely no way I could continue going) I composed this list of 10 things I wish I could have told my younger self, since I obviously wouldn’t listen to anyone else.

1. love and be kind to yourself

Those things you hate and work so hard to hide… The flush in your cheeks that betray all your emotions, the layer of flesh that cushions your bones, your thoughts that race a million miles a minute, your big ole wild hair… Love and cherish it all. When the flush is gone and all your emotions are devoured with pain, when you are nothing but bones, when your ability to think is diminished with sickness, when your hair is falling out and you’re unable to take care of what’s left… You will wish with all your heart that you had been loving, kind and appreciative to yourself, instead of harsh, intolerant and mean.

2. own your strength

If you don’t want to do something. Don’t do it. If you need something. Ask for it. If you want something. Go get it. Whatever it is, make it happen for you. You are stronger and more powerful than you can even fathom. Owning and using your strength will earn you respect and admiration from yourself and others. The belief that you will be considered a bitch and hated for your strength, is complete and total bullshit

3. follow your gut 

It was right every time.

4. expectations are the enemy

Eliminate them the moment they appear. Expectations will create doubt, fear, dissatisfaction and distraction, the sooner you are done with them, the better.

5. justifications and approval are addictive and a waste of time

Trust me, stop seeking them now.

6. try many, many things and do only those that you’d do for free

Master what you love and understand how valuable your passion is, accept compensation for the things you love to do because you’re worth it and the whole belief that you can only be paid for what you don’t necessarily enjoy doing, is absolute bullshit.

7.  NEVER allow yourself to be treated any differently than you would want your child to be treated, ALWAYS behave the way you’d want your child to behave

Without exception. The unrestricted possibilities, love, joy, respect and success that you want for them, you deserve too. So act like it, every single second. If anyone is disrespectful or abusive in anyway to your child, what would you want them to do? If you are ever undecided about a situation, honestly answer what you’d want them to do in the exact same situation,then do that. Once you are a parent, this will become your responsibility, so master it.

8. practice instant forgiveness, for yourself (and others).

Forgiving others instantly will be easy but not (even close to) enough. The moment something happens, let it go. The emotions and judgements that you automatically attach to yourself every time you are not perfect do not serve you in any way. Not only are they completely unnecessary and often inaccurate but they will subconsciously cause you to punish and sabotage yourself, time and again. This sounds impossible but I promise, the more you practice, the easier it will be and eventually it can even become automatic.

9. sleep, eat, drink and play every single stinking chance you get, these are your fuel

Deprivation, suffering and pain do nothing for you, they will not help you get farther, achieve more or be better in any way.

10. vulnerability is not weakness and rejection is not failure

Let yourself be vulnerable and when that vulnerability is met with rejection, be grateful for the gift of redirection and seize the very next opportunity to be vulnerable again. Building walls will not protect you, they will only stand in your way.

I try not to think about how very different things would have turned out, had I only known. Even now, when it is obvious that so much of my healing depends on it, I still find it really hard to honor them. I often use the Five Steps to Transform My Emotions to help keep me on track.

Please share which of these resonates for you and what else you would tell your younger self. It is my sincere hope that each of us can honor our truths more often than we forsake them, to create a reality that celebrates abundance, not sacrifice, starting now.