The New Normal – How to Thrive, Prosper and Succeed

I am so sorry this is happening and would love things to be normal again. It is heartbreaking to see so many of the people I care about hurting so very much. Truthfully, I’m pissed that it is being so mishandled by EVERYONE in power. First of all this is not political. People of all affiliations, beliefs, ages and economic circumstances are being affected by this disease. It is time to come together as neighbors and community members that have a heck of a lot more in common than not.

We need to quit focusing on getting back to the way things were and trying to recreate “normal”

Trust me, I get it. When movement and muscle were gone, seemingly in an instant because of ALS, I spent well over a year trying to force my body back to “normal.” I tried all kinds of things (some of which I will never admit to) until I finally started focusing on what I could still do.

I determined what it was that I really wanted to do. Then I determined how I could modify and adapt, to be able to do them again. It turned out I could still do most of what really mattered to me, often I just had to do them differently . The modifications I have been forced to make don’t even seem to have an effect on the quality of what I am offering. Even my massage clients are every bit (or maybe even more) satisfied, despite my being so physically challenged. Eventually, even I quit really being bothered much.

I am (definitely, without a doubt) still grieving the loss of how things used to be and the way I had hoped things would turn out!

I continue to loose capabilities and have to keep adjusting, sometimes daily. I have gotten a lot of practice transforming my emotions, so they work for me, not against me. When I’m scared sh**less and paralyzed or want to run and hide, I’ve learned how to make fear my friend. Trust me, the sooner you can start to do this the better.

Looking back, I don’t have many regrets but I am SO sorry I spent a lot of really precious time trying to get back to normal or to what I used to be or get back what I used to have. I am so sorry I tried so much to just be positive and to not live in fear, and was so hard on myself when it was impossible to do either. Please know that these are scary times and FFTs are just plain hard for everyone.

Being angry about “small businesses being targeted” is missing the point entirely and distracting from the true injustice.

Instead we need to be angry that the “essential workers” are expected to go to work and endanger themselves, without policies, protective equipment and training to keep them safe. We need to be angry that support for small businesses to continue to offer “non-essential” services and items in a safe way is not even being talked about.

“The unintentional benefits for department type stores is not preferential treatment of them.

The fact that “Big Box Stores” offer a combination of essential items with non-essential items (as they always have) does not mean that the restrictions are designed to hurt or eliminate smaller, specialty item businesses. The very tragic, unintentional consequence is the benefit to retail giants.  The “Mom & Pop” essential businesses are allowed to operate with the same guidelines as the “Box Stores”, they are just less likely to offer all of the non-essential goods as well.”

The exceptions and guidelines for contact are only for essential, unavoidable, necessary contact and are acceptable which is not the same as safe.

It seems that there’s a terrible misunderstanding about the essential business exceptions with the gathering, occupancy and distance requirements. These conditions are only acceptable they are certainly not ideal or truly safe. The exceptions only exist because they have to be there in order for us to have access to what is essential to live. ANY contact beyond only what is absolutely necessary is dangerous. Period.

As a Licensed Massage Therapist, that owns a Wellness Center, I have had to come to terms with the fact that the more contact we have with one another, the more opportunities this virus has to infect and overwhelm our resources. Before there were State and local restrictions, there was an industry wide call to shut down ALL Massage practices for the health of the public.”- from Responsible Re-opening, Danger vs Destitution a piece I wrote before the my County voted on the New Mexico Business Coalition’s plan to re-open, early.

This is the hard truth.

If you go get haircut (or massage) where close contact is unavoidable and you are asymptomatic, your hairdresser, barber or me gets infected from you and I could be completely asymptomatic too… or the alternative, which I don’t even want to put in writing. I would feel terrible if I, unintentionally infected any of my clients. If they had unknown underlying conditions or were just one of the unlucky ones and DIED or was permanently damaged because of their contact with me, I would never ever forgive myself and it DEFINITELY wouldn’t be worth it. 

No haircut or massage or paycheck is worth anyone’s health or life. There is nothing as hard to “come back” or “recover” from as death. Massage Therapists in States that are opening back up are faced with the daunting task of adhering to strict guidelines to keep themselves and their clients safe. The investment in purifying equipment and supplies is staggering especially when the number of treatments they can do is greatly reduced because they have to completely change their clothes and sanitize their spaces between clients. There is a consensus that this is a reality that is going to be happening for a very long time, not just a few months.

Whether or not you agree with the Governor of New Mexico extending the restrictions until May 15th, it is clearly an indication of things to come. The more we focus on re-opening and things going “back to normal” the longer we are going to prolong this and the more damage we will do to our finances, spirits and communities. Until, eventually the damage will be irreversible. The ability to recognize a New Normal, when others are still focused on “getting back to normal” can give us a distinct advantage. It will take strength, courage and unification though, all of which I know we are extremely capable of.

What needs to happen

Instead of our elected officials focusing on “getting back to normal” and returning to “business as usual” they need to be offering support by;

• Helping businesses restructure to operate safely, if they can (online storefronts with contactless transactions).
• Creating platforms and training to fill the needs that have arisen because of restrictions and dangers, so employees who lost positions, can get back to work (delivery, virtual wellness checks etc).
• Getting Hotels and Lodging facilities the funds they need for equipment and modifications, in addition to providing training on how to protect the health of staff and customers.
• Providing the training, workplace upgrades and PPE for professionals like me (Barbers, Cosmetologists, LMTs etc) that provide services that are necessary and require contact less than 6 feet apart. To keep us and our clients safe.
• Getting access to technology and the knowledge to use it, to customers that need help acquiring both.

This is just a waste of precious time and resources, especially in communities like Truth or Consequences, that have such a high population of people with underlying conditions and who are over 55. We also have the benefit of being so far behind the rest of the world, so we can predict the future.

What the future holds

The countries that have started to re-open are seeing second waves of infection and are shutting down again so as not to not overwhelm their already battered healthcare systems. Gallup’s outgoing mayor, asked Michelle Lujan Grisham, the Governor of New Mexico to completely lockdown Gallup. Let’s face it, New Mexico’s Healthcare and Infrastructure Risk Factors, where we come in at a chilling second to the lowest, is far from adequate, even under normal circumstances.

We need to come together to figure out ways to thrive in the New Normal, whatever it turns out to be. Even if things are able to go back to how they were and we don’t experience any more shutdowns. There are going to be many who will have to remain very isolated to protect themselves (me being one of them). It makes sense to be able to cater to and provide services for those that have to continue to be careful, even after things re-open.

If the initial attempts at re-opening are not successful, this can create an opportunity to continue to prosper from this new reality. Being so far behind the curve, gives us the chance to be realistic and ideally smart enough to use it. If we can predict problems then we can turn them into opportunities to shine. We don’t have the luxury of resources to play the same game as the places that do. If we continue to follow their lead we will end up in the same place as we started, if we are lucky.

This is an opportunity for us to advance.

I truly think this place is special and not having our first confirmed case until yesterday, is another indication of it. Hopefully we have already had it (as so many believe) and that makes us immune (which is not known). Otherwise, we have been given extra time to prepare, how are we going to use it?

We are still going to be affected by what is happening in the rest of the State and if there is a city asking for complete lockdown, we aren’t going to have restrictions lifted anytime soon. With the DOH being in charge of overseeing the New Mexico State Veteran’s Home and the State’s Covid-19 Response, it is very unlikely that our restrictions will be taken lightly, regardless of our infection rate. Whether or not you agree with it, fighting for something that won’t happen and probably won’t help, just eats up resources.

I urge you to adapt and prepare for what we can see coming. Business Owners, ask your leaders for the things that will allow you to be operational, for your most at risk customers, right now. Employees, identify needs that have been created by isolation, ask for help creating infrastructure to fulfill them, right now. Plan for re-openings be shutdown again and for at-risk customers to be isolated for a very long time. All Customers, need to be patient and supportive of businesses as they figure it all out.

It is time for Leaders to unify, putting personal and political differences aside.

Spending precious time and resources on returning to ways of business that are not going to be possible or sustainable is dangerous. Telling people what they want to hear and encouraging division, to get others “on your side” during a Global Pandemic, is beneath all of you. Don’t do it.

The Rotary Four-Way Test of the things we think, say or do is something we should all be using to address anything in regards to this shared crisis. It is incredibly important that Our Leaders use the Rotary’s test always but it is especially important right now when misinformation could be deadly.

The Four-Way Test

Make sure the things we think, say or do pass this test:

1.Is it the TRUTH?

2. Is it FAIR to all concerned?

3. Will it build GOODWILL and BETTER FRIENDSHIPS?

4. Will it be BENEFICIAL to all concerned?

The recommendations and information from our leaders seem like they are always changing because they are and that’s a good thing! This (virus, disease, economic / social / governmental situation) is SO new to everyone, we are all learning how to proceed together. This is a sign of transparency and trustworthiness, not the opposite.

Anyone who is using their position of power, (as an elected official or respected community member) to sow seeds of distrust or encourage the misunderstanding of this for personal or political gain, has lost sight of who and what they are serving. Using The Four-Way Test can help us all get back on track.

Creating a Process

I have personally experienced just how amazingly powerful a community is when it comes together to support each other, regardless of differences. There is nothing quite like it and it is exactly what scares those that want to control the most. The Local High School Basketball Team won the State Championship last year, after 20 years (they came sooo close to doing it again this year too!). No one expected them to win and they showed us all how to break free from expectations to go to the very top.

They did not win by doing what they had always done or what others around the State were doing. Our winning team created a program, tailored to them and learned to #trusttheprocess and that We>me. Then the entire Community united behind them. This is our chance to create a process, that really works for us, to not only keep our community prosperous, healthy and safe but to push us to the top, where the HSHS Tigers proved we belong.

We must shift from anger to focusing on what we really want and the actions we can take right now to get closer to it. Once we can transform our frustration into gratitude for what we can still do, things will instantly be so clearer. It is time to come together and demand the things that will help us, not only through this period of transition but to create a new normal in which we truly Shine. We’ve got this.